Life as a cavewoman...

So today marks the end of week 8 in the weightloss game.  Over the past 2 months I've tried several different diets and exercise routines.  What I've finally settled on as working well for myself and my family is a 90% Paleo diet (the other 10% would be the occasional cheat, otherwise it's 100% Paleo) and a workout routine 5-6 days a week consisting of 20-30 minutes High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) on my elliptical combined with weight lifting for about 20-30 minutes, alternating between upper and lower body each day.  Now, the reality of this combination is that I've been more consistant with diet than I have been with exercise.  I had about a good month of daily workouts but it's been nothing but excuses and a few workouts here and there for the last few weeks.  Today I was up at 5am and working out... it's my goal to have workouts be as natural to my day as eating since the two go hand in hand.  The good news is that my husband is home after an 8 week hitch and he is very PRO- Paleo!  I was afraid he wouldn't be on board.  He's not at it 100% but when he isn't Paleo, it doesn't seem to effect my diet at all.  I'm very proud of him because he's not only eating better but he's drinking a lot less... not that he drank a bunch to begin with... but we are social drinkers and it's hard to go cold turkey... ESPECIALLY after living on a boat in the Gulf Of Mexico for 2 months!


Anyway... so 2 months in and I'm down 14 pounds total.  I had hoped for more but I'm happy with my progress.  It's time to step up the exercise because I don't think there's much else to tweek on my diet.  And by diet, I mean lifestyle change.  I've gotten to the point where I just don't want all of those processed foods in my life anymore and I don't plan to stop eating the way we're eating. I have a 6 week workout routine planned out so I'll update then (August 27th) which will put us at almost 2 months of eating Paleo.  I'm excited to see where I'll be!


As we progress through this new way of eating, I'm having to research recipes and experiment using Paleo techniques.  This means the "Foodie" in me gets to keep cooking and eating but this time, there's no guilt associated with my foods.  Sure, it's more work to make everything we eat... but if you do it correctly it's possible to have 2-3 meals come of 1 meal worth of cooking.  I had to adapt to cook for 1-2 and now I'm cooking for 4-6 servings because it's better to eat my leftovers for lunch than just about anything else.  I hope to update my blog more frequently than I have been.  My friend Cassie http://leetsstreet.com/diet-and-exercise/ is a Paleo pro and uses her blog to document her creations.  I've come across several keeper recipes... and while I doubt I'll be able to devote the time that Cassie does, I do hope to start a section for recipes and I should be adding that soon.  Stay tuned!

Living with the fear of death

What?  You're going to tell me you don't fear death at all?  I call bullshit on that one.

I don't "fear death" in that I'm afraid it's going to hurt or be scary.  I worry about the people I will leave behind.  Will they be ok?  How will they adjust?  What if they still need me?  I worry about losing the people I love the most!!!  What will I do without them?  What if they suffer?  How will I go on?  The idea of losing my husband, my son, my mother... unbearable topics as far as I'm concerned.  I can't imagine that kind of loss. 

Those of you following me know I've started a journey towards health and fitness.  Originally when I started, I focused mainly on those little jeans in my closet I want to eventually fit into.  Every day I climb onto that elliptical at 5am.  Every day I religiously track every morsel that goes into my mouth.  I'm using a website to record how I work out and what I'm eating with the hopes that I'll lose a pound or two each week as I gradually get closer to my goal weight.  I use the forums and groups on this website to express frustration, ask questions, or boast success.  Today I read a post from a member that really made a lot of sense to me.  When I looked up his profile I saw that he blogged and his blog was titled "Living with fear of death".  I looked him up and the first blog to pop up was a story about his mother, her diagnosis of Alzheimer's, and her eventual passing.  It was a beautiful story.  In his post on my weightloss website he asked us... "why are you losing weight?" and answered that his reason was his 9 year old daughter and his desire to walk her down the aisle one day.  If you were to ask me... I would tell you that my son is my reason as well.  I am scared shitless of leaving my beautiful, kind, smart, funny, precious baby boy before I see him married with children in college or older!  I can't control if I develop something like Alzheimer's... but I can control clogged arteries, high blood pressure, diabetes.... I can... and I will.

Thank you for sharing Patrick... you just doubled my motivation.  It's ok to fear death... but fear it for the right reasons.

And with that, I will also brag that I am down 10 lbs as of today... I have gotten up at 5am to work out for at least 20 minutes (usually more like 45) for the past 10 days.  I have tracked what I'm eating and have stayed within my calorie goal for 11 days straight.  I already feel stronger, happier, and in control.  I still have a long way to go and it will probably take the better part of a year... but I am committed... if not for myself and those skinny jeans... for my son Holden.

Hawaiian Paradise

It's funny how something as simple as a color of nail polish can give you clarity.  I bought this awesome bright teal color and painted my toes this weekend.  I was in the shower this afternoon, admiring my toes, when I came to a realization.  I love this color because it reminds me of the person I want to be.

I have a picture of myself from 2004.  In this picture I'm really really happy.  I have on these jeans that I absolutely love.  So much so that they still hang in my closet to this day.  I had originally tried them on in a size 18 but they were a little too big and I didn't want to pay full price on jeans that didn't fit.  A few months later I found them for $8 on sale... in a size 16... and they fit perfectly.  In this photo of me, I've lost enough weight that I can pull them down off my hips fully zipped and buttoned.  I lost a lot of weight in 2004 and I finally became comfortable in my skin.  I no longer had to hide under clothes that covered my every flaw.  I could shop at every store and find something that fit me.  I was tanned from a summer spent at the lake and pool running around in my bathing suit because I wasn't embarrassed to wear one anymore.  In 2004 I finally got to dress like the person I always felt that I was...

I love bright colors.  I love crazy earrings, unusual clothing, eyeshadow in rainbow colors.  I barely show it lately.  I'm back to hiding again.  I only show my colorful side in glimpses.  I have gained back most of the weight I lost.  I am uncomfortable in my own skin again.  I'm not happy.

Becoming a mom has been the best thing I ever did... so far... but now it's time to take control of my life.  I need to live... not just for myself, but for my son and husband.  I've ordered DDP Yoga and I've made arrangements to buy an elliptical off a friend of mine.  I tore my ACL last September so I have to be careful to not injure myself given how out of shape I am... but now is the time to change.  Rob is offshore for what could turn into a very long hitch.  He is offshore getting healthy because he has access to a gym and can just worry about feeding himself so he can make healthy choices... plus he can't drink alcohol offshore.  Sounds stupid but really, we drink and it packs on the pounds.  While he is gone, I'm going to do the same.  I can feed myself healthy foods because I only have to please my own stomach and I can wake up early and exercise and I can avoid alcohol since I'm the only one who can bring it into the house.  

My goal is to work out 3-5 times a week.  Might require building up to that.  Eating healthy.  Avoid drinking alcohol unless out socially.  3 things.  Not so hard right?  I think I'll dig out my pre and post pregnancy yoga to get started on since the DDP takes up to two weeks to get here.  At least I'll be a little more flexible and used to waking up at 5am by then.

I'm going to try to document my progress here.... so here we go.  It starts Monday May 21, 2012.


Thanks little bottle of teal nail polish... I hope to live up to your vibrantness soon.

They say...

They say that humor is the best medicine.  I say humor mixed with wonderful friends, happy children, delicious food and incredible home brewed beer kicks plain ol' humor to the curb.  

The diving season has kicked into full gear... thank goodness!  Rob, my husband, went offshore this past Thursday and I've been pretty grouchy.  Trying to reason with a strong willed 2 year old will do that do ya.  I wasn't feeling particularly social but a text from one of my best friends telling me that her 2 year old wanted to get down and party with mine convinced me to come out of hiding for a Saturday BBQ.  Man, am I glad I went!  Not only did I get to see my friends (all fellow diver wives) but I got to meet new people... my kiddo got to play hard, run wild, get dirty and eat sugar all night... I sampled my friend's husband's home brews... and my shoulders let go of the 2 huge knots they had been carrying for the past few weeks.  I was reminded why I'm friends with these awesome ladies and how important they are to my survival here in Louisiana.  

This morning the boy and I woke up after both sleeping like rocks all night... feeling refreshed and ready to take on not only Sunday... but the rest of the week and all of the challenges it potentially brings.  Thank for renewing my spirit my friends... you know who you are!  I love ya'll to pieces!